UbUObserver Flow
Four moves for when it all gets loud.
Observer Flow is the practice behind the book. It takes about a minute. You can do it in a car park, at a sink, or in the middle of a row.
What it is.
Most of the time we are inside the feeling, not looking at it. Observer Flow is the habit of stepping back one pace and watching it, the way you would watch someone else. It does not make the feeling go away. It stops the feeling from driving.
The four moves
Observe
See it arrive. Look for three things: the thought, the feeling in your body, and the urge.
Name it
Which one is this? Anger, fear, shame, tiredness, wanting to be seen. A name makes it smaller.
Thank it
It is trying to protect you. Say so, silently. You are not fighting it.
Return
Back to what matters: the child in front of you, the next sentence, the next application.
What do you observe? Three examples
After redundancy
Thought: “I should have seen it coming.”
Body: a tight chest.
Urge: to start fixing things.
With the kids
Thought: “She is doing this on purpose.”
Body: a tight jaw, a rising voice.
Urge: to shout, or to leave the room.
At home
Thought: “She is shutting me out.”
Body: a tight chest, a faster heartbeat.
Urge: to push, and fill the silence.
The full practice is in my book, UbU: Untitled by Unknown. Read Chapter One free →
The one-minute pause · step 1 of 3
Think of the last person who annoyed you.
Don’t replay what they did. Just notice what your mind said. “He’s selfish.” “They always do this.”
That’s the narration. Now pause.
You just found the gap. That’s Observer Flow.